2022
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Dearest friends
Well, we’re a few days earlier than our usual last-posting-date rush – although the increasing postal strikes (with which we entirely agree, we might add, along with those of the other vital public services that have been neglected and abused so badly) may mean that physical versions of this letter arrive in 2023 anyway! Despite so much environmental and political uncertainty and chaos, the shadow of COVID that hasn’t entirely disappeared, increased costs of living and the rest, we are incredibly fortunate in this household to continue generally happy, healthy and comfortable, and hope it’s the same for you.
A planned family Christmas, this time last year, was a casualty of recurring COVID issues. So for the second year running, our Christmas dinner was shared between ourselves and the House Elf – and none the worse for that! However, Jenny, Carl and Jack made it over in mid February for Samantha's 21st birthday, and it was wonderful to share it with them (and with good friend Kim). Visits to relatives in London, a trip to the bowling alley, meals out, visits to Cassie & Jenny's mum and more.
As restrictions eased, our lives with the theatre, the church and my work returned to some degree of normality – albeit with an undercurrent of nervousness for us all (felt especially in October 2022 at the theatre – more of that in a moment). Here's the usual quick gallop through the highlights.
The Sewell Barn continues to be probably our most all-consuming extra-curricular activity, and the 2021/22 season continued without any major hitches, with seven wonderful shows being presented between October and July. The 2022 shows included Ayckbourn’s rather darker-than-usual offering, a great production of Woman in Mind; a truly gripping and professional production of The Father (recently seen as a film starring Anthony Hopkins, showing the growing confusion of a dementia sufferer); Edith took us to the archaeological discoveries at Sutton Hoo; Orca was an intense and moving show about a remote coastal community and the dark relationships therein; and my own production of Dylan Thomas’ Under Milk Wood (resurrected two years after its original dates) gave me great joy.
I have to say a few extra words about that show: my cast of twelve played all the characters (about fifty of ‘em) who inhabit Llareggub, as well as sharing the words of the Voice, with immense skill and great delight; Myles’ set was a classic of simplicity and imagination; Jessica’s beautiful original music was perfect; Shelagh’s support as our Welsh accent coach was indispensable; and every member of the team brought together a show of which we were all tremendously proud. I was not a little smug that it had very fine audience numbers, too, and the Treasurer was very happy! (I might add that, on this occasion, the Rev was on stage rather than in his frequent role as stage manager; playing, of course, the Revd Eli Jenkins, as well as several other roles, including the hen-pecked and ghostly Mr Ogmore.)
We moved into the 2022/23 season with enthusiasm and optimism. Unfortunately, the first show – the powerful The Welkin in October – was tragically hit by a COVID wave, with (in the end) seven members of the cast of 18 being struck down by the virus. The show performed just once as rehearsed, and the following night with the director reading in for a character; after that we had no option but to cancel the rest of the run. However, it’s been rescheduled for July 2023, with the show originally planned for that month moving into August, and we hope very much that all will be well on the next attempt, as the cast and crew had created a marvellous and memorable show and were very keen to preserve their hard work.
At the time of writing, we’ve successfully completed show #2 – a first-rate production of Harold Pinter’s Betrayal – and are looking forward to the new year. On a personal note, I’ve just auditioned and started rehearsals for my own next directorial outing, which is unusually in March rather than July: two of Noel Coward’s Tonight at 8:30 short plays – Still Life (which most will know from the film version, Brief Encounter) and Red Peppers. I have another magnificent team - and am so looking forward to working with them.
Other shows around the county included (and this is just a small sample!): Who the Who, Who - an extraordinary and moving study of the relationship between a daughter and her dementia-afflicted mother, featuring a masterclass performance by Mandy Kiley and directed by our dear friend Miche Montague; the exquisitely funny Two in Torquay by Alan Bennett, presented by Robin Watson and Clare Howard at various venues around Norwich; the hilarious and perfect Ring Round the Moon at the Hostry Festival – which I was supposed to take part in but had to drop out of, realising that I was not displaying sane tendencies by having an entire year without a break from the theatre! We also spent an evening of much hilarity introducing Sammy, as well as our theatre friend (and my new colleague, as of autumn 2023, as Joint Artistic Director, Sabrina) to the delights of Fascinating Aida on their visit to the Norwich Theatre Royal. Last but definitely not least, the Maddermarket’s fabulous production of The Book of Will – a fascinating, moving and hilarious account of the creation of Shakespeare’s First Folio.
Church life at St Mary Magdalene picked up the threads as we moved back to a more normal pattern of worship – although the echoes are still there, as some people understandably remain more comfortable receiving communion under one kind only (not receiving the ‘common cup’), there are still a few masks in evidence, and the exchanging of ‘the peace’ remains limited to those immediately around us. During the last year, we’ve been able to return to some fundraising events, such as wonderful concerts by the Aeolus Wind Quintet and the Sillars Orchestra (the latter uses our church to rehearse each week); and another fabulous quiz evening (questions set as always by my redoubtable friends, Dorothy & Milton Cooper). Our Holy Week events resumed, including a return to our Passover meal, and, as the hymn puts it, a joyful Eastertide. We’re acutely aware that, from this Advent Sunday just gone, each major festival and event will be celebrated by Selwyn for the final time in his active ministerial life, which lends a particular poignancy to it. We continue to be tremendously happy and fulfilled in our work here, and while we look forward to his imminent retirement in November 2023 and the dropping of various administrative responsibilities for us both, we know that the end of his ministry here will be a great emotional wrench.
Another of Selwyn’s major interests – his studies in Egyptology and specifically his work (and book) on the early nineteenth century archaeologist Robert Hay – continues. He hopes to have a second edition of his book published, both in hard copy and online, before his retirement – or if not, in time to celebrate the 200th anniversary of Mr Hay’s arrival in Egypt in 2024. Last April he was invited to give a lecture about him at the deferred conference of ASTENE (The Association for the Study of Travel in Egypt and the Near East). The organisers were well aware of his profession, so what made them think that he would be able to travel to Scotland during Holy Week I can’t imagine. However, he successfully delivered his paper from his study via the magic of Zoom!
My work in the decluttering and organising world continues with a steady round of ‘regulars’ – which means anything from weekly to monthly to annual visits – and I’m very happy with that. I’ll continue to help people in this way for as long as I’m needed and have the energy to do so.
Of course, Selwyn’s retirement means that we will need to find somewhere to live within the next year. My flat in Surbiton went on the market a few weeks ago – just in time for the bottom to start falling out of the property market. This wasn’t helped by the fact that the flat has a short lease (it was only 99 years when it was built and is now down to under 60). However, as its sale will fund the purchase of somewhere in Norwich (ideally very close to where we are now), and house prices are dropping all over the country, hopefully it won’t make too much difference to our financial situation.
My mum (89 years old a couple of weeks ago, here wearing The Birthday Hat!) remains comfortable and well cared for at Cromwell House, a splendid care home to the south of Norwich. I visit her every couple of weeks and she still remembers me without difficulty (and Selwyn, and anybody who’s been around in her life for more than about 25 years); she gets a bit confused by ‘the youngsters’ as she still thinks of them as young children. She’s always delighted on the odd occasion she gets to see other older members of the family and remembers them well. She joins in with some activities (only on her own terms, though!) and the staff are very fond of her. Her annuity will continue to cover the balance of her care fees (after using her pensions) no matter how long she lives. She has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer; but we haven’t told her (she’s unlikely to retain the information), the condition is causing her no pain or distress, is being slowed down with Tamoxifen, cannot be treated in somebody so elderly and frail (she can’t walk unaided by a frame and spends most of her time in a wheelchair), and it’s quite possible that she will remain in her present – comfortable and reasonably contented - state for some time to come.
We both, thank God, remain healthy and active. Selwyn’s diabetes continues to be well controlled; he’s a bit apprehensive about his upcoming cataract operations, though… At the start of February, I took control (yet again!) of my tendency to overweight and have triumphantly shed (at the time of writing) around 37lb, landing at about 9 stone 5 and a size 10-12, and feeling fitter and healthier than I have in more than thirty years. My hikes and daily walks continue; I have been following video weight training sessions three times each week; I’ve attended Pilates classes more or less regularly all year, and love them – all of which seems to be working fine for a lady who is (ouch) sixty years old in less than a month’s time.
We’ve experienced some splendid holidays in 2022 – and one disaster! After a brief visit to Cambridge for my birthday in January, we planned our long-deferred visit to Brussels as a post-Easter break. An unexpected bout of food-poisoning laid me out three days in, and after a couple more days of unpleasant suffering (me from stomach cramps, he from my dying-swan impressions) we decided to cut our losses and [pay a fortune to Eurostar to change our tickets and] come home!
However, this was more than compensated by a truly lovely ten days in the Peak District in August, including a weekend shared with our good friend James, who took us on a couple of easier five-mile hikes together, and then shared with me a gloriously challenging walk-and-scramble up the Dragon's Back Ridge on a fortuitously beautiful day.
I also enjoyed, in June, a ‘girlie weekend’ with my friend Amanda at the Burning Woman Festival; a women-only event which was in her phrase “a bit woo-woo for us”, but we had some great times, including yoga classes, massage, discussion groups, and a naked paint fight. Yes, really… I might add that the confidence to do that was on the back of the progress of weight loss; and a bit later in the year I took part in two ‘boudoir’ photoshoots – one for a charity calendar, the other on Cromer Beach. I won’t freak out the recipients of this newsletter by including the more revealing results, but I will say that it was empowering and a great deal of fun.
We then were lucky enough, just last month, to be able to borrow a flat belonging to Dave & Sharon, long-ago theatre friends from South London, in the lovely resort of Paphos, Cyprus. There being enough room, we took Sammy with us, and the three of us had a truly idyllic time, with stunning weather, walks, jeep trips, swimming, snorkelling (with turtles), excellent meals, beautiful views and much more. Very special and such a great way to conclude the year. (The return to British November weather was a bit of a shock.)
As always, we commemorate friends that we have lost in the course of the year; this time the local theatre fraternity has been hit particularly hard. Anne Giles and Terry Dabbs both trod the boards for the last time in my production of Waiting in the Wings (July 2019) and were absolute stalwarts of the company; Anne especially was part of the bricks and mortar of the place. They will both be deeply missed. Over at the Maddermarket, we more recently said goodbye to Tim Seely, another kind, delightful and talented man. From Selwyn’s ministry in Essex in the 1980s, we were sad to say farewell much too soon to Siobhan Gower; and from my family, to my mother’s cousin, the lovely gentleman Dave Pepper. This leaves my mum as all-but-one the last of her generation. We were also very sad to bid farewell to our dear friend Robin Angus, who had known Selwyn since their days at Cambridge; a journey to Edinburgh was made to share the celebration of a truly remarkable life with Robin's friends from every imaginable corner of society.
We also were shocked and saddened by the loss of somebody much younger: my cousin Nils, who passed away at the age of just 55. We gathered to remember him just last month, and will be welcoming his father, my dad’s brother Bob, to spend Christmas with us. A carpe diem reminder if ever there was one.
More cheerfully, Selwyn celebrated 40 years since his ordination as priest in the summer; we were delighted to be joined by long-standing friends Jan & Peter Read for the event, and the church made a suitable fuss of him. We were also very glad to join our dear friend Ann, Lady Prince-Smith, church warden from our days in Weston Longville, for her 90th birthday party and to be reunited with many old friends.
We continue to feel fortunate, happy and blessed in each other’s company and lives, as we approach my 60th birthday in January, our 28th wedding anniversary in April, and as mentioned, Selwyn’s retirement in November next. The balance of our lives by next year may change a little, but all the above ingredients – worship, music, theatre, travel and the rest - are likely to remain. We might have a bit more time for gardening – you never know!
We send our love and blessings to all our friends, family and colleagues, and hope for happier, healthier, fairer times for all; and thank you for your part in the wonderful jigsaw of our lives.
